Fertility Journey
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After two years of visiting multiple facilities and even considering traveling to Colombia due to the significantly lower costs, I finally decided to freeze my eggs. This deeply personal decision has been an emotional rollercoaster, but I’m sharing my journey in hopes of opening up the conversation and fostering support for others.
Motherhood has always been a unique path for me. I cannot carry a child, so freezing my eggs was inevitable if I chose to preserve the option of becoming a mother. This decision wasn’t easy. I’ve never felt an overwhelming desire to have children, perhaps because I’ve spent years nurturing the “inner children” of others in my work. I’ve also been mindful of the responsibility parenthood entails and my commitment to not repeating the patterns of absent parenting I experienced.
For years, I went back and forth, weighing the physical toll of hormonal treatments against the opportunity science provides to women like me. Ultimately, I realized my feelings weren’t a firm “no,” so I moved forward. Along the way, I experienced anger—anger at making the decision alone, at myself, at societal pressures, and at the fears that surfaced.
Society’s narratives around women’s fertility complicate this journey. The pressure to freeze your eggs before 30 feels as unnecessary as Botox at 25. The truth is fertility is not a one-size-fits-all scenario. A woman in her 20s might have fewer follicles than someone in her late 30s—it’s a unique, personal biological journey, not a rigid timeline.
Society also projects negativity about aging, whether it’s menopause, skin changes, or sexuality. Yet, my girlfriends in their 40s and 50s often enjoy richer, more fulfilling sex lives than those in their 30s. Age does not define intimacy or passion!
As for my own fertility journey, I’ve chosen to do just one cycle. If it works, wonderful. If it doesn’t, I will embrace what’s next with gratitude. Being the “fun aunt” to my nieces and nephews already fills my heart, and I honor women who pursue cycle after cycle with determination.
To the partners of women undergoing this process: your support is invaluable. She’s navigating an emotional and physical storm—your love and understanding make all the difference.
For me, I trust my body, the universe, and the life I’ve built. If motherhood aligns with my destiny, it will come in the right way and at the right time.
Sending strength and admiration to all the goddesses out there walking their own paths.
Much Love,
Marine Sélénée