To Life, To Death, To Our Ancestors

The fear of doing better, the fear of being happier, the fear of having it all—these are fears that can weigh heavily on us. “It’s too good to be true,” we tell ourselves, or we look back at our ancestors' struggles and think, “How can I deserve more when they had so little?”

But remember this: just because your ancestors struggled doesn’t mean they want you to struggle too. In fact, they want the opposite. No one fights and survives so much only to wish for the next generation to suffer again. Your ancestors, and even your parents—no matter the difficulties you’ve faced in your relationship with them—want the best for you. Whether or not they ever say it out loud, they want your best.

Feeling guilty or ashamed for doing better than them serves no purpose. In every family, there is a need for at least one person to break free from the cycle of suffering, struggling, and mere survival. That person can be you.

How do you honor your ancestors? By honoring life. How do you honor your roots, your heritage, your country of origin? By living fully and embracing life.

Have you read The Midwife of Auschwitz by Anna Stuart? It’s a heavy read, but it’s ultimately a celebration of life. Even in the darkest, most inhumane circumstances, there is a way to choose life. The protagonist Ana, amidst the horrors of Auschwitz, finds a way to give hope by secretly tattooing babies with their mothers’ numbers, praying that one day they will be reunited. This act, in the face of so much death, is an ode to life.

This is the essence of Family Constellations: choosing life, no matter what. So, choose life. Count your blessings. Keep your chin up. The good moments will always give you the strength to weather the hardest ones.

Much Love, 
Marine Sélénée