abandoning yourself

Have you ever put your own needs aside so your partner will stay with you?

Have you ever put your own needs aside so someone else will be happy?

Have you ever repressed your truth to please another in your life?

Have you ever swallowed your true feelings because you were afraid of abandonment or rejection?

Have you ever played small to let someone else get all the rewards?

The truth is, we've all abandoned ourselves in the hope of not being abandoned by the other one, at some point in our lives.

What happens, in that moment, when your entire self feels like you are giving up on you? Anxiety, fear, feeling unbalanced, anger, frustration, inner conflict and so much more. It’s the inner battle taking its place. Your inner self trying to wake you up, while the ego side of you is so afraid of being abandoned, rejected, alone that it's willing to pretend to be someone else just to be loved. And guess who pays the price?

You. 

Because your behavior will change and the other person will see the shift. And if that person is also trying to figure out who they are, I can already predict that it’s going to become a toxic relationship. And, you don’t have to test it because the rule is: NEVER ABANDON YOURSELF. For anyone.

If you need to constantly adapt, compromise, stay flexible, dim your light – that person is not for you anymore. Here is where acceptance is key. Accepting that you have to always save yourself first and choose yourself first, because if you want inner peace, you got to choose your entire self. The beauty of it is, you will meet other people like you which will create mutual respect towards each other and for each other’s boundaries, and this is a gift. This is the beauty and privilege of having beautiful relationships in your life.

Much Love, 
Marine Sélénée