being at peace

As far as I can remember I’ve never been at peace. I’ve always loved the passion, the fight, the scream, the violence. For me it was a way of feeling alive. It was a way of escaping the numbness, the trauma, and not letting the darkness win.

It's an exhausting way to live.

Since I moved to Los Angeles, a shift has been slowly happening towards peace. My body is less tense. My mind is less chatty. My anxiety has drastically gone down. I feel calmer. Of course there is still this little rush & desire to figure everything out, but the intensity of it is less burning, less consuming. It's now more of a peaceful excitement feeling.

Yesterday, was a wonderful ‘snow ball’ of peaceful teachings. First, one of my besties shared with me how it was a bit hard to resist the temptation of not getting drunk while everyone else was this weekend. I told her that I could relate, as I’m not a drinker or drug user, and I got judged a bunch of times. It used to drive me nuts, while now I’m just at peace with it. I know that if someone feels uncomfortable with me not drinking, it is not my problem! Then, I had a little argument with an ex friend of mine and I decided to let it go and not answer her back. This was never my reaction in the past, but this time, I chose not to fight. Then finally, I had a nice exchange with a former encounter that was also very peaceful. 

It felt right. It felt aligned. It felt good. 

I have so much compassion for my younger selves, but I also love the phase that I’m in. Trusting my intuition. Leaning on the masculine. Surrendering more. And practicing peace. 

How is your relationship with peace? 

Much Love, 
Marine Sélénée