a story of life & death
Today, I laughed.
Today, I cried.
Let’s start with the smile. My grandfather is 91 and so of course, his daughter's (my mom and aunt) are a bit scared of losing him. As much as it is expected that at some point we all die, it’s never easy to mourn your parents. So, long story short they asked my brother to check on him. My brother felt that my grandpa was all good and he helped him with a few errands. Plus, he needed a new piece for his lawnmower so my brother told him that he was going to take care of it and he will be back on Tuesday. At that moment, my grandfather told him it was not possible because the cleaning lady did not want anyone in the house while cleaning. My brother thought it was very weird and so he told him that he could not come any other day. After a little back and forth, my grandfather (like a teenager) finally shared the truth that he goes to a dance class for seniors where he can meet young ladies (in their 60s/70s) and he loves spending time with a few of them. My brother said, you see? We are worried about him while actually he is still using his forever charm. Once a womanizer, forever one! It did put a smile on all our faces, children and grandchildren, and reassured us that he's still got it!
For the tears, a beautiful woman that, for me, was the description of a perfect, amazing life — meaning she met her husband at a young age, three kids together, beautiful marriage, successful business, and had a lovely family — this lovely soul died right before she turned 40. Anxiety was her beast, and cancer took over. She was one of the healthiest women that I’ve known but still, despite being surrounded with love and happiness, when you don’t fully embrace the gift of life, expecting the worse, it might happen.
When my friend texted me this heartrending news, of course it deeply resonated in me because most of my entire life, I’ve been dealing with anxiety. I've shared that since I moved to LA, it has drastically gone down, but for me it was a reminder that the mind will always win. That’s why sometimes, we call it medical miracles, but I think they are really mind miracles. Wherever you put thoughts, sooner or later they will become true. I’m not sharing this to freak anyone out and feel guilty of not engaging with Life more, not taking care of yourself more. No, I’m sharing that on one hand, you have my grandfather who is a cheater, but in great shape and on the other hand, you have a woman who was healthy, but petrified of Life.
It’s a reminder to receive the gift of life, to embrace it to the fullest because you can be the healthiest person in the entire world but if it’s out of fear, at some point, Life might remind you to breathe deeper, to exist more, to feel alive more.
To life!
Much Love,
Marine Sélénée