receiving

A year ago, I was packing to ultimately unpack and stay in the same place for one more year in Miami. Now, here I am again, surrounded by boxes and getting closer to my road trip to Los Angeles, beginning a new chapter in my life on the West Coast. The funny thing is, I'm leaving Miami the same day I left NYC three years ago. You may think I did this on purpose but not at all. My first choice was to leave on Winter Solstice. Then my mom surprised me by letting me know that she was flying to LA at the end of December. I guess she's feeling that something big is going on in her daughter's life because it's been 15 years of moving all around USA and this will be the first time she is joining me for a move. My first impulse was to tell her, no, do not come. Thinking to myself it's probably going to be messy and I have no idea where I'm going to end up. Then, after a few minutes, I felt relief that my mother wanted to be by my side for the first week of 2024. The truth is, deep down, I'm a bit scared of moving again and not knowing what to do next if California doesn't turn out how I imagined, my happy ending place. It felt good to stop pretending to be strong and doing everything on my own. I decided to receive from my mother, the love and support she is offering, which is very comforting and soothing. 

And that's what the last theme of 2023 is about, Receiving. 

I'm a giver. You could think it's very humble to be a giver, there for others, and always trying to find the best solutions for them. Well, it's crap! The giver is actually petrified of losing control and being vulnerable. And, I'm fully aware of it! So this year, without planning it, gave me a few teachings and encounters about receiving. 2023 had the same vibe as 2020. At first, life was on track, I was just following the plan, and then everything derailed. I felt a sense of loss, unknown, and deep quest. At first I wanted to fight it and resist, feeling my usual, "I've got to be strong and resolve everything on my own." But then the weight of it, was just too heavy and it forced me to finally face the truth, “Are you willing to receive from those you give so freely to?” Because, it's not a one way street.  

And, I had to. I had to finally pause and decide to receive, which is a new way for me to "be strong." That's when the beauty of life can truly take its own place, complete surrender, complete trust. Because no matter what, when you got nothing to lose anymore, when you have clearly no idea what's going to happen — I mean of course you can still fight, be angry and resist, but for what? For once, I picked the other option, when before that felt much more dangerous . Yet, the simple act of surrendering and receiving from others, opened me to new doors, opportunities and relationships that I hadn't experienced before. 

Any type of successful and nurturing relationship is the right balance between giving and receiving. That relationship is based on respect, trust, and vulnerability, which is where true intimacy can exist. You can see it in any constellations when there is a lack of balance between giving and receiving. The family members are angry, resentful and bitter because none of them feel seen, heard and recognized. 

Yes, being a giver can feel amazing. But if you are afraid of receiving, you are a fake giver, which means you are afraid of feeling and having a vulnerable connection. And, vice versa, if you only want to receive, you are selfish. But, it's called being a child. A child only wants to receive. That's actually the beauty of being a child, but then with siblings, or school, or through the education of your parents, you understand that a balance is needed. The right balance is giving with no expectation and receiving because you're as worthy as anyone else, to receive love, abundance, and joy.

For the end of year and beginning of next year, I recommend you practice that balance of giving and receiving. Practice that balance of feeling. Practice that balance of being. 

Enjoy your loved ones, not only for Holidays but every day of your life. Tell them that you love them. If a relationship is difficult for you, acknowledge it. Consider having a discussion with that person, and if this option is not available, write a recognition letter. 

Don't keep heavy feelings within you. Don't keep unspoken words stuck in your throat. Don't keep your tears inside. Free yourself. 

As always, if you need some help, I would love to work with you either in a 1:1 session, workshop, or courses. 

"This course, Write A New Story is a powerful journey toward self-discovery and healing. Thank you for offering such a transformative opportunity." 

With love, 

Marine Selenee