in the name of love

I was watching an interview with Francois Cluzet (French Actor) and he was sharing that his mother abandoned him when he was 8 years old, to follow her new lover. When Francois was sharing his story, he said that now he understands his mother for choosing Love and he could not blame her for that. 

At that moment, the Family Constellations therapist that I am thought to myself, what about Francois' son? The child that Francois Cluzet had with Marie Trintignant (French Actress).  Marie died in 2003 from domestic violence caused by Bertrand Cantat (French Singer) and I wondered, how old was Francois' son when Marie, the mother, died. Feeling pretty sure the child must have been around the same age as his dad when he experienced the loss of his mother. 

And guess what? TA-DAAAAA... Francois' son lost his mother at 10 years old. And that’s a key age in Family Constellations. It does not need to be the exact same age but we would say if it's between 2-4 years difference, we can call it a key age. In a way, the dynamic was the same, a very passionate love story between his mother and the singer. On top of that, when Marie Trintignant died in August 2003, she was still married to Samuel Benchetrit, with whom she had a son. They separated early in 2003 and a few weeks later, she was with Bertrand Cantat. Who knows, maybe she left her husband for him? But as you can see, going back to the Cluzet's family, another mother, dramatically abandoned their son in the name of Love. 

The more you recognize your pain, the more you talk about what happened to you, the less risk there is to repeat the same situation. The same situation will trigger your repressed feelings and unspoken words, that’s all. Take full responsibility, share your story, acknowledge your pain so no family members from future generations will have to do it. 

Much Love, 
Marine Sélénée