limitless

Are you feeling limited in your life? 

Are you feeling trapped in your life? 

Or

Are you feeling limitless in your life? 

Are you feeling free in your life? 

When did you feel that feeling? The feeling of pure freedom and therefore trust. 

When was it? 

After a healing session, a conversation, an unexpected night of love, a loss, a fight, a surrender, a disease, a stranger… When was it? 

We all experience aha moments that bring us, in a second, all the clarity we were looking for. It happened to me a few days ago after another healing session with Paul Canali (If you are in Miami, I highly recommend you to see him). After two previous amazing sessions with Paul that brought me so much peace, I decided to go see him again after my vacation in LA. 

The question I'm sure you're thinking is, why would I need a healing session after my trip? When I arrived in CA, in a lovely place that could've been mine, the following day I had debilitating anxiety and dark thoughts. I did not know what was going on because on a conscious level, I was so happy to feel peaceful, joyful and finally home. But then I started doubting myself for a minute, “Is it the right move?” Even though I knew deep down that yes it was. But something I could not pinpoint yet was in my way that I had to become consciously aware of and, of course, heal from it. 

Yes, I am a therapist who seeks help when I need it. I understand my clients in a minute but when it is my turn, I absolutely have no shame to say it out loud and to seek guidance. That's how much I respect my clients and my practice because I want to give my best to them.

Back to my session with Paul. I described what happened to me while I was in Los Angeles and we started working together. In the next few minutes, I got my answer, “I was scared of being happy.” 

On vacation, when I arrived at the beautiful house that was so my vibe, walking the streets feeling so good and talking with strangers, it was such an amazing feeling that I got scared. My subconscious sent the signal, be careful. She is happy and every time she is happy, or something potentially good happens, a disaster will take place very soon after. 

When did it start? When did I start believing in that fake belief? I don't know. 

Was it when I could hear family members being jealous of my parents' relationship? Slanderous about my beauty and intelligence? Envious about my mother's success? Was it when my father told me and my brother that we were a little bit of an inconvenience in his relationship with our mother? That we were too much and that it was our fault? 

Trying to remember exactly when this belief started would be pointless. But I do remember that from a very young age, I dimmed my light and power. Little by little, I let other people shine, to be more loved, or secure that love, and not be rejected or abandoned. 

Well, I have to say I became outstanding at dimming my light. I've self-sabotaged a bunch of things that could have potentially been great for me. For example, choosing the wrong guy, the wrong school, the wrong friend. Or when it was too good to be true, at some point, I was going to lose everything, my mentality was “I don't deserve it. And, if I really deserve it, just enjoy it for a few days but then be prepared to fight.” This is the script that has been playing in my head almost my entire life. Even when I was feeling better, embracing my healing journey and healing from everything, I would meet a good guy but then he'd vanish. I would make a comfortable income but then cut it in half. I'd land great projects but have no success. I'd be betrayed by my friends but keep going. Because I can be on the floor completely diminished, but I will always find a way to get back on my feet. I've been a fighter for my entire life. Something I was proud of until last August, when I got tired of my anxiety that had no purpose! 

Now I understand that belief has been part of me for 30 years, more or less, and habits are hard to kill, especially the dark ones. I finally realized that this is what happened to me in Los Angeles, and I finally felt free. I made a promise to myself that every day, I will show my little girl that she deserves to be free, limitless and loved... and it starts with me. 

And, it starts with you. Sometimes, you feel that the work is taking forever and you will never achieve what you want. But there is a timing for everything and I really want you to practice being and feeling limitless. If the world is not yours, rest assured that your life is all yours. Rest assured that you can break from difficult patterns and behaviors. Sometimes, they will try to say Hello again but you will know what to do. 

We all have a fighter within ourselves, you can also call it protective resistance. You have to love that part of yourself more than the other ones because this is the part of you that is the most afraid of happiness, love and so life. Have compassion for it and talk to it with kind words. 

Because again, everything has a purpose in life. I always thought that we had a destiny and pretty much everything was written. But after talking with a dear friend of mine, my vision is softer now. I do think things are written, but I also believe we have a choice. We can follow what's written or we can choose to write something new. 

It's called free will. 

Nourish it. Nourish your difference. Your freedom. Who you want to be. Do not let anyone else tell you that you are an inconvenience, that you are too much, that you are too loud, that you shine too much… Because all of these are what make you alive. 

Don't stay silent. Be vocal. Keep moving. Keep living. Keep being limitless. 

With Love,

Marine Sélénée