The more you recognize your pain, the more you talk about what happened to you, the less risk there is to repeat the same situation. The same situation will trigger your repressed feelings and unspoken words, that’s all. Take full responsibility, share your story, acknowledge your pain so no family members from future generations will have to do it. 

We all have addictions. Addiction is anything that you think you cannot live without it. You can be addicted to a person, a state of mind, a feeling, a memory, a type of food, a drug, an alcohol, freedom, chaos, passion, money, working out, working, shopping, sex, and so on. In order to heal from an addiction, you need to find the root of the pain that caused it. Once you do that, you can begin to fill the emptiness created from the addiction with your love and attention.

What happens, in that moment, when your entire self feels like you are giving up on you? Anxiety, fear, feeling unbalanced, anger, frustration, inner conflict and so much more. It’s the inner battle taking its place. Your inner self trying to wake you up, while the ego side of you is so afraid of being abandoned, rejected, alone that it's willing to pretend to be someone else just to be loved. And guess who pays the price?

Ray Charles was not born blind, but slowly started losing his vision at the age of four or five, due to what was later diagnosed as glaucoma. Interestingly enough, his brother George accidentally drowned in their mother’s laundry tub when he was four years old. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this is around the same age that slowly, but surely, Ray Charles started losing his vision.

Naming someone else by honoring the memory of an ancestor is, most of the time, a heavy weight to carry. It holds the ‘curse’ of either repeating the same pattern, the same destiny, or repairing it. If you really want to honor that dear family member within your child's name, you can use it as a middle name. But if you ask me, always name your newborn with a new name, as it is a new destiny. 

Are you from a family of mostly boys or girls? Or is it well-balanced? If you think it’s a coincidence that only boys or girls are part of your family, you should think twice. The family system is always looking for reparation, so if the tendency in your family is more masculine or feminine, it probably means that there is some deeper healing that needs to take place with men or women.